Let’s start with what is now undisputed: Sean “Diddy” Combs was violent toward Cassie Ventura.
That’s not alleged anymore; it’s admitted. In fact, during a federal courtroom exchange that can only be described as both surreal and strategic, Combs’ defense attorney Marc Agnifilo went so far as to say, “We are absolutely going to admit to domestic violence.”
Yes, you read that right.
But don’t mistake this rare moment of legal clarity for a full reckoning. Sean Combs’ legal team quickly pivoted to what’s being branded the “mutual abuse” defense. According to Agnifilo, the violence in their relationship wasn’t one-sided. Cassie, he contends, gave as good as she got—because apparently that somehow makes it better?
The exchange unfolded during Day 4 of pretrial hearings in Combs’ upcoming sex trafficking trial, which is set to begin in earnest this week in Manhattan federal court. While the jury is expected to be finalized Monday, the court of public opinion has been deliberating for months, especially since the release of a 2023 CNN video showing Combs violently assaulting Ventura in a Los Angeles hotel hallway.
Cassie Ventura, whose civil suit against Sean Combs was settled in just one day in November 2023, is expected to be the prosecution’s star witness. That lawsuit, which alleged rape, sexual assault, and physical violence, cracked open the floodgates.
Since then, dozens of civil claims and a September 2024 criminal indictment have painted a picture of Combs as the ringleader of a sprawling criminal enterprise, one that the Justice Department alleges lured women into “Freak Off” parties; which according to prosecutors, included orchestrated sex acts, drug use—sometimes involuntary—and a toxic power structure that left women manipulated, abused, and in some cases, trafficked.
Yet here we are, with Sean Combs’ legal team arguing not that he didn’t hit Cassie, but that she hit back. The implication, of course, is that her “strength” somehow neutralizes his coercion. Judge Arun Subramanian didn’t let that framing slide. “Strong people can be coerced just like weak people,” he reminded the court—a necessary and sobering truth in an era where victim-blaming often comes wrapped in legalese.
A 2016 surveillance video obtained by CNN shows Sean “Diddy” Combs violently grab, shove, drag and kick his then-girlfriend Cassie Ventura during an altercation in a hotel in California. https://t.co/qgD40mRPtQ pic.twitter.com/1u7qJgn3mC
— CNN Breaking News (@cnnbrk) May 17, 2024
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Let’s pause here to examine what this “mutual abuse” claim really means, and why it’s not just legally strategic but socially dangerous.
According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, mutual abuse is largely a myth. While both partners may use force in a relationship, domestic violence is fundamentally about power and control. It’s not a boxing match; it’s a pattern. And the person who initiates, escalates, and sustains that pattern isn’t always the one with the bruises visible on the outside.
In the U.S., domestic violence continues to be a crisis hiding in plain sight. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience severe intimate partner physical violence. Every minute, nearly 20 people are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. That equates to more than 10 million women and men each year. And in households where there is power, money, and celebrity? The silence around abuse only deepens.
Adding insult to actual injury is the lingering impact of policy rollbacks like the Trump-era Executive Order that gutted Title IX protections and rescinded critical guidelines on how colleges handle sexual assault allegations. In 2017, the Department of Education under Betsy DeVos rescinded the Obama-era “Dear Colleague Letter,” which had established clearer standards for responding to sexual violence on campus. The administration’s subsequent changes raised the burden of proof for victims and narrowed the definition of sexual harassment, effectively giving institutions more cover to under-respond.
Though President Biden has since attempted to restore some of these protections, the broader signal—that victims will be doubted, dissected, and possibly discredited in public view—remains loud and clear. Which brings us back to Diddy.
If the “mutual abuse” claim feels like an attempt to dilute the seriousness of the allegations, that’s because it is. It’s a classic defense move: if you can’t deny the behavior, reframe it. Make the victim seem complicit. Use their strength against them. But what does it say about our legal system that the only path to admission of guilt is to drag the survivor down with you?
Let’s not forget what else Sean Combs stands accused of: racketeering, sex trafficking, drugging women without their consent, kidnapping, and arson. If convicted, the former mogul could face life in prison. For now, he sits in the Special Housing Unit of Brooklyn’s Metropolitan Detention Center, a far cry from his Bad Boy Records heyday.
Last week, as jurors were asked if they recognized names like Kanye West, Michael B. Jordan, Mike Myers, and Kid Cudi (who, for the record, are not expected to testify), one couldn’t help but wonder: Are we so enamored by celebrity that we forget the real human damage beneath the glitz?
Cassie Ventura’s story is not just about one woman’s survival. It’s a reminder of how fame, power, and unchecked male entitlement can form a nearly impenetrable shield—until it cracks. And while some may clutch pearls over the alleged “mutual violence,” those of us who have watched too many women erased by public skepticism know better.
Sean Comb’s legal team can twist language and throw around courtroom jargon, but the video doesn’t lie. The data doesn’t lie. And women—strong or not—deserve justice that doesn’t come with an asterisk.
So no, this isn’t just another celebrity scandal. It’s a test of whether our systems—legal, social, and cultural—can tell the difference between a messy breakup and a cycle of abuse fueled by power and intimidation.
And if we still need a reminder that abuse isn’t about who hit whom harder, but who held control longer, then we haven’t learned nearly enough.
Because mutual abuse? Bad Boy, please.
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