Tashera Simmons, best known as the ex-wife of the late rapper DMX, has spent years forging her own identity outside the shadow of her famous ex-husband. An author, speaker, and advocate, she has dedicated herself to sharing her personal transformation through faith, self-reinvention, and healing. In her latest memoir, Dying to Self, she opens up about her struggles, triumphs, and the spiritual awakening that shaped her journey. In this conversation, Simmons discusses her book, the challenges of revisiting past trauma, and the power of surrendering to faith.
On the Meaning Behind Dying to Self
“Dying to self means everything to me. The title is profound because I literally had to die to my old self to rise in my flesh. This book has been years in the making, and I truly believe its release was aligned with divine timing. When my ex-husband passed, I received a lot of attention, and I didn’t want to benefit from his death. So, I waited until the right moment. Now, looking at what’s happening in the world, I see why God chose this time. This book is about faith, healing, and rediscovery.”
The Challenges of Writing A Memoir
“The hardest part was reliving the trauma. Growth requires revisiting wounds you thought were healed, and that process is painful. There were moments where I had to take a mental break, step away, and breathe. But I knew I had to push through. Many people live without dealing with their trauma. I wanted to show that healing is possible and necessary.”
Surrendering to Faith
“Losing my ex-husband was the moment I realized I had to surrender. We weren’t together, but we had a deep connection, growing up together and sharing so much history. His passing ripped a part of me away, and I knew I couldn’t navigate life alone. That’s when I truly connected with God. I embraced the Holy Spirit, and it became my foundation for moving forward.”
The Role of Fasting in Healing
“Fasting was crucial. It wasn’t just about food—it was about detaching from everything that distracted me from God. I fasted from sex, TV, certain people, and even doing my hair. I needed to strip away worldly attachments to hear God’s voice clearly. That discipline transformed my mindset and filled me with a peace I had never known before.”
The Fear of Starting Over
“Starting over is terrifying. Society often makes us feel like we have to stick to what we know. But I learned that new beginnings are beautiful. We come into this world alone and leave alone, so why should we fear embracing change? The things I’ve discovered about myself would have never come to light if I had stayed stuck.”
Practices That Keep Her Grounded
“Aside from fasting and faith, I’ve found joy in solo movie nights, dining out alone, and attending spiritual and women’s groups. I’m rediscovering myself, and that journey is ongoing. Doing things that genuinely make me happy is a priority.”
Defining Herself Beyond DMX
“For so long, I was known as DMX’s wife. Now, I define myself as a woman of power. I got my voice back because I used to love being the woman behind the man, but now I stand fully in my own light. I am free and empowered.”
What People Misunderstand About Her Marriage
“People assume a lot about our relationship, but what they don’t know is that despite everything, we had a deep love. Even after our divorce, we remained best friends. He struggled to understand why I still cared, but I always told him, ‘I’ve known you since you were 11. I can’t expect something from you that you were never taught to give.’ That understanding brought me peace. For someone as broken as he was, he gave me everything he could. He tried his best. We broke generational chains together, and I’m proud of that.”
Advice to Her Younger Self
“I would tell young Tashera to trust her gut. We often don’t listen to that inner voice, but she was stronger than she realized. I used to feel sorry for my younger self, but now I see that she held it down. She was resilient, and I’m proud of her.”In Dying to Self, Tashera Simmons presents a deeply personal and spiritual journey of healing. Her story is a testament to resilience, faith, and the power of stepping into one’s own light. Through her book and advocacy, she continues to inspire others to embrace their paths with courage and purpose.
Writing Helper
Tashera Simmons, best known as the ex-wife of the late rapper DMX, has spent years forging her own identity outside the shadow of her famous ex-husband. An author, speaker, and advocate, she has dedicated herself to sharing her personal transformation through faith, self-reinvention, and healing. In her latest memoir, Dying to Self, she opens up about her struggles, triumphs, and the spiritual awakening that shaped her journey. In this conversation, Simmons discusses her book, the challenges of revisiting past trauma, and the power of surrendering to faith.
On the Meaning Behind Dying to Self
“Dying to self means everything to me. The title is profound because I literally had to die to my old self to rise in my flesh. This book has been years in the making, and I truly believe its release was aligned with divine timing. When my ex-husband passed, I received a lot of attention, and I didn’t want to benefit from his death. So, I waited until the right moment. Now, looking at what’s happening in the world, I see why God chose this time. This book is about faith, healing, and rediscovery.”
The Challenges of Writing A Memoir
“The hardest part was reliving the trauma. Growth requires revisiting wounds you thought were healed, and that process is painful. There were moments where I had to take a mental break, step away, and breathe. But I knew I had to push through. Many people live without dealing with their trauma. I wanted to show that healing is possible and necessary.”
Surrendering to Faith
“Losing my ex-husband was the moment I realized I had to surrender. We weren’t together, but we had a deep connection, growing up together and sharing so much history. His passing ripped a part of me away, and I knew I couldn’t navigate life alone. That’s when I truly connected with God. I embraced the Holy Spirit, and it became my foundation for moving forward.”
The Role of Fasting in Healing
“Fasting was crucial. It wasn’t just about food—it was about detaching from everything that distracted me from God. I fasted from sex, TV, certain people, and even doing my hair. I needed to strip away worldly attachments to hear God’s voice clearly. That discipline transformed my mindset and filled me with a peace I had never known before.”
The Fear of Starting Over
“Starting over is terrifying. Society often makes us feel like we have to stick to what we know. But I learned that new beginnings are beautiful. We come into this world alone and leave alone, so why should we fear embracing change? The things I’ve discovered about myself would have never come to light if I had stayed stuck.”
Practices That Keep Her Grounded
“Aside from fasting and faith, I’ve found joy in solo movie nights, dining out alone, and attending spiritual and women’s groups. I’m rediscovering myself, and that journey is ongoing. Doing things that genuinely make me happy is a priority.”
Defining Herself Beyond DMX
“For so long, I was known as DMX’s wife. Now, I define myself as a woman of power. I got my voice back because I used to love being the woman behind the man, but now I stand fully in my own light. I am free and empowered.”
What People Misunderstand About Her Marriage
“People assume a lot about our relationship, but what they don’t know is that despite everything, we had a deep love. Even after our divorce, we remained best friends. He struggled to understand why I still cared, but I always told him, ‘I’ve known you since you were 11. I can’t expect something from you that you were never taught to give.’ That understanding brought me peace. For someone as broken as he was, he gave me everything he could. He tried his best. We broke generational chains together, and I’m proud of that.”
Advice to Her Younger Self
“I would tell young Tashera to trust her gut. We often don’t listen to that inner voice, but she was stronger than she realized. I used to feel sorry for my younger self, but now I see that she held it down. She was resilient, and I’m proud of her.”In Dying to Self, Tashera Simmons presents a deeply personal and spiritual journey of healing. Her story is a testament to resilience, faith, and the power of stepping into one’s own light. Through her book and advocacy, she continues to inspire others to embrace their paths with courage and purpose.