Is honesty always the best policy? B. Simone is making headlines again. Her cringey crime this time? A recent interview with her friend, Shekinah Yon, on her LTTA platform. The episode title was “I’m Going Through a Spiritual Battle – Here’s Why.” Various clips from the candid sit-down have gone viral. But it’s a clip of B. Simone and Shekinah Yon recalling a challenging situation in their friendship that has listeners in an uproar. While some believe that honesty is the best policy in any friendship, others feel that, although B.Simone’s feelings are honest, that doesn’t make them any less problematic.
During the hour-and-a-half convo, B. Simone and Shekinah Yon revealed an incident when B. Simone didn’t seem happy about an accomplishment. Shekinah also revealed that the downside of being friends with a celebrity/ influencer is the optics that you too have it. She detailed a series of unfortunate events, like her car being repossessed and having to support her and her son on food stamps. B. Simone’s out-of-touch reaction, “Jesus,” spoke volumes.
“Recently, I had this opportunity, and I called you, and I told you about it, and you were just like ‘Okay mhm, and you called me back,” said Shekinah at the 33:29 mark.
B. Simone And Shekinah Yon
Simone acknowledged struggling with her friend’s good news. “Y’all, I was so convicted, I was so convicted,” B. Simone passionately interjected. After realizing her emotionless reaction, she called back in an attempt to be transparent with her friend.
“You were like, ‘I didn’t like how I felt when you told me that.’ And I was like, ‘What do you mean?’ You were like ‘I don’t know what it is, I’m talking this out in real time but whatever it is I don’t like what I felt,’” Shakinah explained. Paired with another teaser of her crying about having to shop at H&M instead of Bloomingdale’s, it raised many questions about the funny influencer and businesswoman’s apparent disconnect.
Telling the truth is part of intimacy. B. Simone chose to expose her feelings to her friend instead of hiding them no matter how uncomfortable the conversation would be. How much truth you need is up for debate. People don’t frequently admit to their flaws, and some praised B. Simone for being forthcoming, but others think her honesty is a symptom of a much bigger problem she’s displayed time and time again.
Commenters considered this recent exchange a friendship red flag. “People are so quick to cut people off and just be done with people instead of having those conversations that could really lead to hearing,” said Lauren Boone, LICSW.
Jean Messeroux, LMSW, acknowledged the bravery of B. Simone’s actions. “I actually found it powerful for her to be transparent about that,” he told HelloBeautiful. “I think that honesty allows for just more of a pure friendship,” he continued.
How Can Faith Impact Your Friendships?
Going on a spiritual journey, like the kind B. Simone says she is on, can have side effects. You might be in need of grace from those around you on the way as you find your way.
“I think the assumption about Christians is that somehow they are more authentic, more spiritually authentic. But Christians are, by biology, flawed human beings, and every day there’s something that you have to repent,” explained Asha Tarry, LMSW, CEO at Behavioral Health Consulting Services.
“For Christians in particular, a part of the transformation comes with repentance,” she continued. “You can both impact people’s lives to do the same through modeling the behavior, but you can also distance people who are not ready to see you in a new way.”
She pointed out that disclosing the contents of your heart by confessing is considered the responsibility of a Christian, according to her understanding of the bible.
“When we catch it, we must confess it,” said Tarry, who also identifies as a faith-based therapist.
B. Simone And Shekinah Yon: How Honest Is Too Honest?
Messeroux noted that negative or confusing feelings are natural. “I think sharing the feeling transparently with a friend that you trust and with a friend that is open to receiving that kind of information, I think, can actually push the friendship forward,” said Messeroux.
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“It’s a sign that you’re able to self-reflect in real time, and then to go back to the front and express that to me is an absolute sign of emotional majority, and I think it’s important to have that in relationships, but you may not get that in every friendship,” said
Still, you don’t have to spew every negative thought that arrives to your bestie. “I don’t think they need to know everything,” said Boone.
How Can Timing Affect How Honesty Lands?
The timing of a disclosure can impact how it is received. Messeroux recommended discretion in the moment. “Instead of calling that friend to share and process the negative feelings that you’re feeling in the moment, call someone else who’s also safe and process,” he advised.
“Take the time to become more aware with what happened to you in that moment versus bringing it up to your friend,” said Boone. “You have to be cognizant of your impact versus your intent in that moment.”
If you do stumble into a poorly timed disclosure, Tarry says you should address it right away. “I think when you bypass whatever the experience was that you have with your friend and you don’t work to fix it quickly. You breach that friendship’s confidence,” she said.
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